Picture Update for March, April, May

 At the Thinkery with friends in Austin

 Hot dog roast!

 Outside the Thinkery

 Mud-fights while I tried to pack the garage in Austin...

 Another classic family picture

 Goggles! Snow! In May! Welcome to Colorado!

Happy Mother’s Day! We are grateful for our mothers, their faith, and the continuing nurturing we receive from them. It seems like they are always full of miracles and the right thing to say. This week when I was starting to feel a little frazzled Christine sent me an e-mail that just jolted everything back into perspective for me. Somehow in these weeks of transition, I’ve forgotten what boys need, how we have usually filled those needs, and how we’re still finding the best energy outlets for those gaps. She reminded me of exactly what I needed. My mom is also always ready to help and serve us and everyone else. I think one of the reasons I’m addicted to making cookies is because it helps me channel my mom, remembering her delicious treats and how she listened to me jabber endlessly (and still does!) as I worked out my thoughts and feelings. I’m really hoping I can teach our kids to communicate to us the way she and my dad did. What a gift. And we have such wonderful grandmothers and great-grandmothers. We’re so blessed by them.

The boys and Wes plotted my Mother’s Day with care. They gave me orange tulips (which Lincoln stomped on but amazingly survived). This morning Levi woke with purpose and colored some paper to wrap gifts for me: blue because it’s my favorite color with 3s all over it because that’s my favorite number. Wesley helped them wrap a new whisk and a huge Ghiradehli chocolate bar—in addition to Blue Bell Rocky Road ice cream. I’m spoiled, it’s true. Levi also made me a flower in Primary “because I wanted your day to be special.” Lincoln and Keller gave me big hugs. And Wes and I had a date in nursery and sent the usual leader to Sunday School and RS. I love dates with him!

We’ve been thinking a lot about mothering this week. This is in part because I’ve been struggling (not a big surprise given my letters!) to keep it together. We have been blessed by a series of miracles. One came as a dream. I’ve had drowning dreams for years and years and years. I always drown. I die and wake up. This week I had a few symbolic dreams that weren’t of my normal kind. One was surprisingly a drowning dream. Point: I woke feeling much more hopeful. It took me until the next evening to realize that I didn’t drown! I’d stayed under water watching sting rays and angel fish and light swirl all around me, feeling out of breath and baffled—but I didn’t drown no matter how far I was pushed under. I could still see and feel the light. Sometimes that is how parenting is. Swirling, dizzying, but so full of God’s light that we do not drown. There was more to it, but I’m still figuring it out.

On Thursday Wesley and I were asked to give talks. We didn’t have much time to work on them, although we did have some wonderful conversations about honoring mothers, how the plan of salvation is a plan of family, and what it means to nurture. This morning both of us only had a few scattered notes. Levi woke last night with nightmares. Another miracle, he calmed and slept in. Lincoln and Keller slept in. We had time to make our notes a little less scattered. I’ll attach mine on nurturing. I focused on 2 Nephi 25:26 but have no idea what I actually said; the Spirit was there—so our prayers were answered. Wesley talked about how we can honor mothers giving examples of the mothers of Helaman’s army and how these were young men who were mothered by a community of faithful people. He pointed out that President Packer teaches that God shows us His love by giving Priesthood power and authority. Heavenly Father has also given us all motherhood—no matter where we are. This is a power and authority that all living have access to. I would give more details, but I didn’t actually hear the talk. Lincoln had to use the bathroom right after the sacrament. Levi came along. In the midst of their adventure I heard Keller screaming in the hall with a very sweet and helpful sister. Lincoln’s potty experience took almost the full duration of Wesley’s talk (20 minutes!). This did make for a more reverent meeting for others, though!

As I write this, I watch Wes teach Levi and Lincoln how to make a snowman. Yes. Snow. Golden is supposed to have over a foot of it by tomorrow morning. The snowman is as tall as Lincoln and the green leaves still flutter beneath the white. The yellow and purple irises that bloomed this week still wink and sway in the flurry. For the first time since we came here, the big boys said, “I like Colorado! Let’s stay here!” (They’ve been repacking their stuff to return to Austin and “Shane and Julie’s house!”). Another blessing! Plus we(s) had just enough time yesterday to cut the dead branches off of trees, finish the major weeding, clear out a garden plot, and mow the grass. We’re ready for the snow! Keller loves it as well. He tried to kiss it and catch it.

A few adventures happened this week. Surprise!

While working in the yard, the boys once again flooded the stairs and un-filled flowerbed. I can’t keep up with the three of them. Before I could stop them, they made mudballs and flung them at the house and at me. Boys! The water is super cold here. The big boys put the hose down Keller’s back. Poor kid. Their sweet mother showed them exactly how that felt, then we had a long warm bath. Keller floated! They blow bubbles and pretend to swim. We registered for swimming lessons (starting first week of June); they can’t wait. We bought a medium outdoor pool for them to play in (after the snow melts). It has sharks. They have goggles—which still live on their faces most of the time—and life is just so, so good.

We met some new friends at a new park next to a lake. Geese everywhere. Keller didn’t care a bit about the awesome climbing playground: he only saw the geese. He chased them, attacked them, squawked at them—even after one charged him, hissing. They appreciated him more when we tossed them his sandwich. As we drove to the park, Levi brought his Book of Mormon to “read” to us. Every time we turned he read 2 Nephi 2:25. Then again, and again, and again. Lincoln started to softly remind him, “We turned again, Levi, you can stop now. Levi you can stop now. Levi: stop reading!”

After emptying their dresser again, the big boys surprised me by putting them all away!

We invested in a clothes line. Drying clothes has never been so exciting. We’re still learning how to keep the line tight.

Lincoln knocked over the 3-shelf bookcase in the toy room while it was still filled with children’s book. Why is everything a fire truck or garbage truck? He did help put it away.

They built forts out of smashed boxes. They whispered all morning because their “kids” (Peter, Bluey, and the Elephant) were sleeping. Levi told me, “They had a rough night, so they’re really tired.”

At the library we entertained quite a few people when we tried to leave with 40 books Lincoln discovering a huge book basket to dump (after we’d just cleaned up the trains…) and Keller finding the children’s computer and Levi color coordinating the blocks on the shelf.. I was sweating by the time we left—but we came out successful!

Keller loves wandering around with a blanket over his head. This accounts for quite a few bumps and bruises. We have no idea what he’s thinking. He also loves clamboring up the table then dancing on it before we say, “Keller, get down…” He grins and giggles, moving with alarming speeds for such a little man. He also teases. He often poops then points to Lincoln and tells us Lincoln needs a “diaper” change. They both think this is hilarious.

On that note, Lincoln decided to pee all over the new bark in a park by our house. Good grief. He’s not very good at standing to urinate, so he waddle-ran all the way home.

Our sound for the week is “L.” Levi has made great improvements and has pointed out our sound since his speech session. This is an important sound with a Levi, Lincoln, and Keller. I hear him practicing “Look! Look!” instead of “yook.” He told me, “I want to go to half-day kindergarten because you really need me here.” It’s true!

We stayed up late watching “Frozen.” We’ve heard enough about it and the music that we finally saw it. The boys enjoyed the experience, but were very confused. If you want our commentary (and we have some!) call—this letter is getting long enough! I wonder if the focus on social ineptness is a reflection of how many people feel because we communicate less face-to-face now than ever.

In Venice news, I’ve officially decided to deliver her without an epidural. My last doctor visit was a huge relief. This doctor assured me that they’ll support whatever I decide to do. She was very thorough. I connected with her. I think I need to calm down because it will all be okay. Wes and I are working on pain management skills. I’ve been praying to be prepared. In one answer, I went to bed with a migraine. Instead of improving, I woke at three in so much pain that I couldn’t sleep anymore. I spent the night and morning in the bathroom vomiting. I tried to distract myself by biking, but stopped because my first contractions of this pregnancy began. We’re right on track as I’m a little over 28 weeks. Here we go! I can’t believe we’re getting close to meeting our little girl in a couple of months.

Wes finished his third week at NREL. He continues to love it. Already he’s ahead of schedule. He meets new and talented people. We’re just immensely blessed.

That’s the long update. We love you!

I stopped taking pictures in February...

We decided that the best thing for us to do yesterday was go to the temple. It rained and thunder-stormed all day except for when we were there—so the boys were able to be outside! Tender mercy. Most of the people in the temple were temple workers and those attending marriages. Wesley and I both had time to ponder in the Celestial Room. My heart just overflowed with gratitude for the temple in general and for our amazing development in Texas. The last four years have refined us. We are closer to our Savior and Heavenly Father. I feel honored that we could grow so much as a family here. I thought of D&C 109:22, “And we ask thee, Holy Father, that thy servants may go forth from this house armed with thy power, and that thy name may be upon them, and thy glory be round about them, and thine angels have charge over them.” That is my prayer leaving the temple, leaving Texas, and leaving our house whenever and wherever we go.

On Friday I had my 20 week ultrasound. Ace is definitely a girl. Therefore, Ace is Venice Christine. She did not like us invading her privacy or jostling her around. The others performed in their ultrasounds; she balled up her fists and rolled over. We couldn’t even get a profile picture of her! I was pretty entertained. Thankfully everything looks just right with her—which is always a great relief. I met with Dr. Loar for the last time. I wish I could take her with us to Golden. She’s just so steady and kind and capable.

Levi has been waking with nightmares (not “bad” dreams he informs me, just “scary”). Last night he flew into our room almost faster than he could open his door. He trembled next to me for a half-hour. Poor kid. We’re working on empowering him. One night Wesley checked on him. They looked at the pictures of Christ and the armies of Helaman on the wall. Levi said that even though he can’t see Jesus with his eyes right now, he is going to pretend that Jesus is watching him close—just like the picture is right over his bed. What sweet faith.

Lincoln has also been waking up around four. Thankfully he goes back to sleep. He asked if he could have a uterus and a baby in his tummy, too. Haha! He has determined that I am the Rat (he can’t remember the name “Splinter” and has given up trying—which is hilarious). When he can’t find me in the house he yells, “I’m going to find the rat. Hey! Rat!” I’m Splinter because baby Venice is going to be April and I take care of all of them. Lincoln loves the story of the Beauty and the Beast. Mostly, he loves the Beast. We found the Jan Brett book at the library. He studied it for days. Running errands have never been so easy!

Keller clearly said, “Bubbles!” when he saw that I’d thrown some old blowers away. He’s discovering the convenience of communication. This increases his motivation to try to articulate. One of our letters of the week was “V” and he diligently made the “VVVVVVVVVV!” sound. He knows all of my body parts, but isn’t really interested in labeling his own (unless we’re playing peek-a-boo). And, glory of glories, he can open almost all of the doors and climb chairs up to the dining room table—so nothing and no one is safe. Mobility: so wonderful and horrifying.

Thank you for all the birthday wishes. Thank you for your help in Wesley’s thoughtful gift of helping me not think about food! (Bless him!) We used up our gift card to the Cheesecake Factory without any meltdowns, football games, or casualties. Levi asked me what I wanted and I said, “Happy boys.” Of course he snorted indignantly, but they all tried very hard to be happy and get along. I’d call that a perfect birthday!

James 1:5

It’s been another week of miracles!

Wesley’s official defense date is Wednesday, April 2 at 10:30 a.m. NREL is trying to give us something more solid/resembling an offer in the next week or two so we can move forward in whatever direction we need to. Hurrah! His work progresses every day. He’s preparing diligently for his Illinois interview—realizing how underprepared he was for the BYU one and still grateful for the experience. His head is full of ideas; he sorts through them and tries to formulate potential grants to write, classes to organize, and how to become a successful professor.

I have visit taught a woman for over a year who has been inactive. I’m the first visiting teacher she allowed for years. Her husband has been completely uninterested. Something changed in the last few months. He decided he wanted to learn more and be baptized. For the last two months the whole family has come to church: the couple, their three kids, her sister and her mom. Wes and I have both been able to go with the missionaries for visits which have been very special, spirit-filled experiences. Yesterday Frankie was baptized. Wesley spoke. What a glorious event! I’m so glad we could be there.

I felt sick all week. Usually I can sleep my migraines off (usually I don’t have migraines in pregnancy!), but this week I even felt bleary in sleep. Kind of cool, if it didn’t inhibit me so much. I haven’t even worked out much this week and I have slept in all week. (That sounds really dumb, but it really does take a lot to remove me from my beloved bike.) On Wednesday we cleared up enough to visit teach a sister who really needed it. Her daughter was there and needed to hear someone testify of the Savior and her part in Heavenly Father’s plan. That afternoon, I caught the full-blown cold with Keller and Lincoln (who are both teething). This is not a big deal except I needed to watch another little boy on Thursday. So we prayed on Wednesday night and Thursday morning that we’d be able to do it and not get him sick. When Dustin came over, our runny noses and coughs slowed. I had just enough strength to take care of everyone and no one threw fits. When Dustin left I knelt down in gratitude because there is no way I could have done that otherwise.

Then! On Friday night (Saturday morning) around 2 we heard our growling heater start to give out. It’s been struggling for a while. The house shakes and it roars. We urged some life out of it by letting it rest for forty minute stretches. Wesley went to Walmart in search of space heaters. Alas, we live in Austin, Texas (paradise) where it shouldn’t get cold especially in February and space heaters are few and seasonal. Add a few cold fronts—no stores in the area have any space heaters left. Thankfully, our heater lived until 5:30 when the temperature started to rise. The last half of the week didn’t peek much over the 30s and schools were cancelled for ice storm possibilities (I know, I know, not real cold—but a big difference from 75! And still cold without heat at night with little people). The heater man spent a couple of hours with us, but has to order parts—which will hopefully be here early next week. The weekend has been warm, though (60s and 70s). Another cold front comes in tomorrow. If we’d lost our any earlier, the process would have been painful. As it is, our sweet friends borrowed their space heaters to us and the boys are basically oblivious to any temperature change in the house. We feel like this is a huge tender mercy.

To make our furnace adventure more entertaining—earlier this week when I was in the bathroom for five minutes, Levi and Lincoln somehow moved chairs from different rooms and completely unloaded our storage closet: suitcases, all the winter clothes, quilts, quilts, quilts. This was the day after they unloaded their entire dresser into their closet to build a swimming pool. Instead of losing it, like I wanted to, I decided to just pack it up into boxes. While I did this, Keller unloaded his dresser to find more blankets for his crib. Another miracle: I didn’t tape the boxes closed! Haha!

We built a fort out of the couches. The boys transformed it into a barn. They’ve pretended all weeks that we’re a cow family. Or, more accurately, Wesley is a bull, I’m a cow, and they are the calves. Levi set up a milk shed in the barn. They mooed and played so happily. Then I heard, “Mom, you need to come to the milk shed. It’s time to milk you!” What? (Please note that there were a lot of things I was tempted to say about milking and my children that I refrained from expressing to my sweet son at this time). “Well, you’re the only girl cow. So we need to milk you. Every day!” I don’t know how I avoided that one. So hilarious.

Tuesday and Saturday surprised us with warm weather. Lincoln was soooo happy to wear shorts and no jacket outside (shorts unencumbered by pants. He always wears shorts, but we force pants over them to go outside). He biked with a huge grin. All week he looked mournfully out the window, “But I really, really need my shovel.” Finally they dug in the dirt yesterday, helping Wes fix our raised bed garden spot. They even tried to cut down the tree with their shovels.

Keller cracks me up. He wanders all over, preferably with something on his head. I’m constantly pulling off buckets, bags, blankets, socks, etc. off of his head while he wanders near the stairs. He also loves slipping away quietly then squawking as he splashes in the potty, as if to say, “HaHA!” He remembered how to blow kisses—which he loves when Lincoln responds. At night he says, “Bye-bye!” One night as I walked out of his room, he sat up (climbing out of his six billion blankets that he keeps throwing in there) and said, “Bye-bye!”

One of my favorite moments of the week happened just before bed time when Wes transformed into Rambo and the Ninja Turtles set up forts (the Alamo, according to Lincoln). They had an awesome pillow fight while the boys tried to block with their ninja weapons. Levi set up their blankets nearby in case anyone got hurt and needed comfort. Lots of joyful shouting. I’m pretty sure, “REPENT!” was in there. Oh my.

Quick Picture Update of January....

 Playing the piano with our friend Eli

 At the Capitol with the Kellers

Ninja Turtles

I didn't realize I never updated January! This will do!