(last week's letter)

Wes came home with fever and chills and another strain of gunk. We prayed that we could all be well enough to go to church together. So off we went this morning. We walked through the doors and their noses cleared up. We stopped coughing. No crazy trips to the bathroom for anyone. We stayed all three blocks. When the boys and I returned home (Wes had meetings) their noses drained again. When Wes walked through the door, his chills returned. (We feel better this evening.) What a miracle! We decided we needed to exercise true faith and increase our gratitude and education through being sick—and we’re given great gifts. Amazingly enough, we’ve all been gross yet able to plug away (avoiding human contact). We’ll count our blessings.

Keller had his 4-week appointment. He is over 10.5 pounds. Yes: he has gained close to 3 since birth! He’s a chunk and loves eating. I’m worried about some reflux issues, though. He’s been losing everything. He’s fighting our sickness(es) as well, but pulling through thus far. He touched Lincoln’s cheek while flailing. Lincoln held his hand to his cheek, smiling, saying, “Keller touch cheek! Again! Again!” With attention like that, our Keller feller continues to thrive.

I covered Lincoln with a blanket in the middle of the night, he rolled over murmuring, “Motorcycle!” dreamily. He pretends to sleep with his eyes squished shut, then he opens them shouting, “AWAKE!”  He loves dancing—particularly to the ABCs. We blasted some music and twirled around the house. “Again! Again!” When we start counting (for any reason) he picks up on the numbers and speeds us forward. I have given the “keeping up” with him part to our angelic host. My goal is simply to help him survive to age 5. Anything beyond that we consider sprinkles (which he discovered and loves).

Shouting seems to have increased since Keller’s birth. And screaming. I try to be patient. But after long and varied approaches to our “outside voices” I finally put Levi in a time out in the backyard. He stressed about his socks getting dirty. He’s such a steady big brother and a huge help (sorting laundry, organizing everything, checking on the baby as soon as he wakes up). We all want to test the boundaries sometimes. He told me this week that he plays with his toys in bed at night when he “has a hard time going to sleep.” I wondered what that sound was.

We took dinner to a sister in the ward. She told me she had a dog in passing; I forgot. Levi and Lincoln clutched each other as they slowly ascended the scary cement stairs to her complex (in the dark!) while I balanced dinner and screaming Keller. They all listened very attentively, staying close to me. Then she opened the door, the dog ran out, growling, barking, and jumping all over them. So I had three boys screaming and climbing up me frantically (with good reason) while trying not to slosh soup or drop anyone. The lady finally took the food and I scooped up my boyos as she shut the door. I don’t know that I built any friendships that evening. Levi and Lincoln regrouped, we all hugged and breathed, and they calmly recounted the experience to Wes when he came home from work. They really are so brave. I’m proud of them. Despite their fear, they tried to protect the food, too. They tried not to scream but to say, “help me,” (as practiced) instead. What sweet boys.

I saw my gynecologist this week and all looks well. I had to have an eye exam to renew my glasses prescription. In both appointments people asked me if we’re done having kids. I sure hope not. I know it probably sounds crazy—but we feel more complete with Keller around. Our third little dude just increases our excitement and anticipation for any others we might have. People look at me like, “You’re 25 with three kids three and under and you actually want more? And more than one more? Good luck, honey.” We all wish each other well. And some days I need all the luck they can wish. Thankfully, we just follow the Spirit and pray for daily guidance knowing somehow we’ll make it one day at a time.

Happy Veteran's Day

 Cool in his sunglasses

I try to change Keller's diaper and the next thing I know the big boys start suctioning their ears!

 Eating lunch at the park

Happy Veteran’s Day! And hurrah for Royal! We’re so excited for you! Onward Christian soldier!

We’re celebrating the fifth week of sickness. It started with the flu shot, morphed into ear infections, colds, and Lincoln (who leads the way in these things) happily showed us diarrhea last night and today. In fact, he stuck a toy into his messy diaper and pulled it out to show us. Good grief! This morning Levi woke at 2:30 and didn’t go back to sleep until 5:15. He tried. He sat with me while I nursed Keller (“Which side are you on now? Left or right?”), tried to read stories, and finally fell asleep when Wes stayed next to him. We’ve mostly lost our brains. On Friday, Wesley saw a bus, thought it was his and ran for it. He ended up quite a ways from where we live. Our date night turned into an adventure to grab him: we call this sleep deprivation and sickness.

On Monday, I agreed to sell my copyright to BYU for the course I made. While I know this is probably the best thing to do, I’m a little devastated (as in, I’ve been a total monster). It feels like intellectual prostitution. Maybe I’m dramatic. Hard to imagine, I know. Thankfully, since we’ve entered the third postpartum week (my boundary for rediscovering “normal”), my recumbent bike pulled the whole family through my growling.

When I asked Levi what treat he wanted after lunch one day he told me that he was fasting until he baptized Peter. He has “fasted” periodically all week. Lincoln said his own prayer last night: “Mommy, Daddy, LeVI, Baby Keller, AMEN!” then he clapped.   

All the boys love the double stroller. Phew! This means we walked to the park a few times with him cheering. Keller falls asleep. Levi holds onto a string tied to the stroller handle. This worked well for the library/story time and grocery shopping. Ah, the miracle of string.

Keller grew, spit up, and accepted lots of kisses this week. I’m amazed the only sign of sickness he’s shown is a little bit of mucus. He’s quite the pleasant little guy. We love when he’s awake because he seems so excited about everything. He delights all of us. What a gift to finally have him here! Three and a half weeks! That isn’t very long, but look what’s happened!

I think that will cover it for now.

While we don’t boast snow (or anything close to it), this week our temperatures swung from mid-90s (Wes melted) to upper and mid-50s (I freeze). The pleasant chill days bring out the sweaters and scarves in the Texans, but don’t keep us away from the park. Hurrah for autumn!

Keller sleeps peacefully in the crib while I write. This little one is a world of emotions. He practices big, full mouth grins that have nothing to do with gas. He discovered his pouty lip, a furrowed brow, squinching his cheeks and mouth into a tight O, and (his favorite) raising his eyebrows as if mildly surprised or thoughtfully interested. The swelling in his eyes went down all week; now he looks around, follows our voices, and seems cheerfully unperturbed by the noise and hubbub around him. He snuggles in and enjoys life. On Monday, we went to a newborn follow-up with the pediatrician. Keller weighed an ounce over birth weight. Dr. Holmes: “That is just insane. Great. That’s where we hope they’ll be. But insane!” Keller does not struggle eating or bubbling or keeping the diaper assembly line in business. He came to earth willing to say in all action, “I am a fully functioning young man!” And so he is.

Despite the fact that we’re all adjusting to our new and wonderful life in different ways, the boys adore their brother. Keller screams during sponge baths; Lincoln runs in to push me away, “No, Mommy! Keller cry!” Lincoln spends a lot of time trying to climb into the crib for a better look. He loves to help burp the baby (“we pat his back, not his head, buddy…”). Lincoln squeals and claps just because Keller is here. I’m so relieved. I wasn’t sure how Lincoln would respond. Thankfully, he’s happy to share with another musketeer, kissing him all over. Levi wants to know all about nursing, bathing, and caring for the baby. I think he’s planning on taking over soon. He’s learned an interesting amount on circumcision and nursing; who knows what he’ll divulge in nursery today? Levi’s newest pretend is going to the hospital (complete with a bed made of white pillows and white blankets). “Peter is in my tummy. He is my baby and needs to come out.” So Levi prepares, rests on the bed, tells me where the shower in his room is, asks nurses about what doors his family can come in to visit during the night, and then suddenly—Peter is born! He can repeat step by step everything that he saw when they visited me. Let’s just be glad he didn’t see more of my laboring! I’m glad that Peter remains potty trained.

Did I mention that Wesley is a ward missionary and I’m compassionate service leader? (A fun parallel to our time in Provo.) Wes attended a baptism this week. Levi went with him. Lincoln worried about going to bed without Levi there, but he did okay clutching his “dog, pig, mom penguin, and dad penguin” tiny figurines that Grandma Stacy brought for him. He also pulled his baseball cap on his head. Levi came home concerned that he missed Lincoln, “I need give Lincoln a kiss!” he wailed. When we put Levi in bed an hour or so later, Lincoln popped up: head still in hat and animals in hand, “LEVI! Home!” Ah, it’s nice to have brothers. The boys continue to baptize their toys and themselves in the tub and in imaginary fonts. It’s pretty darling. Serious business.

In addition to maintaining sanity in the home, playing with the boys, heading up bath and bedtime, this week Wesley gave a presentation with one of his committee professors. He revamped slides and prepared material—he’s been prepared for a while, but we’ve been running on happy adrenaline and he almost forgot about the presentation! Being tired makes us all the more entertaining. Kudos to Wes for plugging on consistently and without complaint anyway. He graded a bunch of tests, worked on his research, and even played tennis (a much needed release). Watching him and thinking about all he does for us makes me feel that much more swoony.

I received a call from a sweet, apologetic professor representing BYU Independent Study on Thursday. He informed me of a new policy: all IS instructors must now reside in Utah. This means that I will no longer be teaching my creative writing class after November 15. Administratively, I can understand this. The policy makes sense. I’ve been a little surprised they hired me in the first place. But I’m still slightly heartbroken. I love my students. I love teaching (even online!). I love the writing community and feeling like I can still participate, peripherally, in it. This has been a miracle job; it gave us added income just when we started to worry, it provided a wonderful balance to my brain, and the two years I’ve taught has been perfect timing. The timing of this policy is probably another miracle. We have three kiddos! Now I never need to make the decision that I am unable to do it (which would be painful to admit, although realistic). And someone else probably needs this miracle job at this time. I don’t want to be selfish and wish I could hoard it. I dedicated so much of the last year, especially summer, to rewriting to the course (I’ve been finalizing revisions in the last weeks). I’m sad that I won’t implement my lessons and work here. Wes is convinced they’ll come in handy and I’ll use them in another venue. If nothing else, writing them out benefitted me. Perhaps I’ll never formally teach creative writing again: perhaps I will. I know that this is really a blessing, so I can’t feel that bad over it.

My mom has been holding down the fort. She’s been performing the extra hard task of reminding me to sit down, rest, don’t lift that, etc. “Recovery and healing” makes me feel a little twitchy even though I need it. Our neighbors brought us soup. When I returned the dish, she exclaimed, “What are you doing! Go sit down!” Wesley and my mom have kept me reasonably immobile while giving me opportunity to stretch and get out as the days progress. The boys love Grandma Stacy; I love hearing them patter after her calling, “Stacy! Stacy!” (she didn’t choose her own grandma title, which makes it even more entertaining). They color, build with Legos, fold clothes. They try to convince her of new rules on mopping and bathing. I’m starting to hear phrases like, “Grandma Stacy says…” which makes me laugh. We love having family around and wish you could all be here to bask in the wonder of this handsome little boyo.

Quotidian Wonders

Happy birthday to my mom! On Friday night Lincoln wanted to know if you were getting ready for bed like him. During meals he has been looking at our old family picture saying, “STACY! STACY! POP CORRIE!” Then he pauses. “Pop Corrie sad. STACY!” Thank you for devoting extra attention to all of us while we happily adjust to a new little bug. Usually we’re okay to be far away; then we get the opportunity to spend time with family and it makes us a little lonely. Levi must feel it, too, since he tried to convince you that our house is your house now. Who knows? The West might be an option someday. Until then, the holidays will come!

When comforting the boys about her departure, Mom told them we’d stay with her at Christmastime. Levi paused, “But I’m going to Bodie’s house!” Hope that’s okay with him! We bought our tickets home yesterday. We fly into Boise on Christmas night around 11:30 p.m. (Yes, these tickets were the cheapest—but the flight is also pretty awesome aside from stopping in our beloved Denver. If we make it to Boise without delays, the flight will be great. The boys might even sleep…). We’ll probably return to Texas around January 8. We plan on blessing Keller in Pocatello/Preston/SE Idaho around the first of the year. We’re still working that one out. If you have opinions, let us know!

Also: Happy election week! Wesley and I sent our ballots in on Halloween. It is really nice to vote from home and be able to review those running and what the offices are. Hurrah for our freedoms and opportunity to vote!

All month long the boys and I have read Halloween books. Last month we finished the costumes since I didn’t know when Keller would arrive. They practiced saying “Trick-or-Treat!” and “Thank you!” When Wednesday arrived we ran around a little crazy: doctor for Keller, a lunch date for me and Wes, and errands with my mom. Then Lincoln stopped and rested on Wesley’s lap. This rarely (never) happens. That stopping thing isn’t part of his character. We tend to hear him chanting, “Run! Run! Run!” then the quick patter of his feet and pumping of his left arm follow. The poor little guy ran a fever for a few days, caught a new cough, and had a mild ear infection. We’re doing our best to build up Keller’s immune system early on. Lincoln seems okay now, but he missed out on trick-or-treating, much to Levi’s dismay. Lincoln did enjoy helping Wes open the door and handing out/hoarding candy.

Levi proudly donned his cardboard fire truck, dollar store hat, and “redshirtredshorts.” We tried to snap a few pictures of the matching firemen; Lincoln understandably didn’t get into that. All of our practice has paid off, though, since they have been trick-or-treating around the house—knocking on the pantry, the piano bench, doors, and walls. Levi and I visited our neighbors who all ooohhed and aaahhed and told him he was the cutest costume they’d seen (encouraging too much pride in the fire fighter’s mother). In all of our preparation, this year I forgot to cover the scary side of Halloween. When we saw a(n impolite) kid dressed as a grim reaper and shoving around, Levi shrieked as he climbed up my legs, scaring the little girl passing out candy. When he calmed down, he said, “That mask was funny. I no like that mask.” Sweet little guy. The superheroes delighted him. We even saw a baby dressed as a ladybug, and the handfuls of candy did amount to great satisfaction. Phew! Overall verdict: successful Halloween. Can you believe Thanksgiving is less than three weeks away!

Keller weighed 8 pounds 9 ounces at his two week appointment. Yep. He has almost gained a pound since birth. Chug away little man! He has dimples in his elbow dimples, dimples in his knuckles, dimples in his cheeks—but his legs are all Jones. He loves listening to his brothers. I can’t believe that he doesn’t even flinch at their exuberance. While taking pictures, I found one with Lincoln’s finger up Keller’s nose. We’re all very close and thankfully tolerant. Levi and Lincoln are both enamored. They constantly bring him toys, read him stories, and lather him in not-quite-antiseptic kisses. When Keller cries, Lincoln is the first to dash off, “Baby Keller!” Levi soon follows yelling, “Keller Moroni Cole” (“Teller Mwarrrony Tole!”). It appears that Keller will be my cuddly one; perhaps I’ll just revel in the snuggling now since it may not last. His hair is almost black, but his eyebrows are super light. We’re the calico hair color family for now!

Aside from Halloween and claiming Grandma Stacy, the Levi and Lincoln still find time to baffle and entertain me. Lincoln wants to wear other people’s shoes—then run. This results in a lot of face-planting on hard floor and running into furniture. He hauls Wesley’s shoes up and down the stairs (not a small feat since Wesley wears size 11!). He was particularly excited when he found Wesley’s running shoes. While nursing I heard ecstatic sounds then a loud, “RUN! RUN!” Thunk. Levi has decided that he wants to stand to urinate. But he’s not quite tall enough and he hasn’t practiced this approach much. I didn’t realize what he was doing yesterday when he asked for privacy (I just rejoiced in the idea of privacy!). Then he reported laughing, “I peed on the wall.” My overactive imagination had him trying to spell L-E-V-I on the wall—especially when I saw the splatter and the puddle all over the floor. Let’s just say I didn’t respond in a calm manner that instilled confidence or a desire to try new things; I’m grateful to have forgiving children.  We’re practicing the new technique now. In the midst of cleaning up puddles and hair from haircuts, Lincoln pulled my glasses apart and Keller exploded. Life: fast paced quotidian wonders. I can’t ask for more blessings, entertainment, or growth!

Wesley continues to be my hero. I’ve got to stop sleeping in. Drives me crazy and messes up the schedule. Yet! He patiently tells me that I am doing something (this week, I may start counting feedings and diapering and hand washing in my “to do list” so I have something to report at the end of the day) and he goes on sleep deprived. He worked from home on Friday after taking Mom to the airport. He graded a zillion papers (okay, 31). He has been collaborating on a paper with some fellow researchers and is toying around with some new research on managing residential home energy use. Thursday night he taught a new member lesson, returning home buzzed and exhausted. “I think she’s going to make it!” he kept repeating with bright eyes, which probably parallels the Lord’s trust in and enthusiasm for us.