Mercy

Yesterday swirled, at home and definitely outside of home.

Amazing how Heavenly Father knows us individually and shows His love in interesting ways. I had a very tender experience after Levi smeared his face, body, and the kitchen with his breakfast, screamed all morning and found the borders of my patience and capacities. We sat in the rocking chair to sing songs and calm down. He whimpered and I tried not to feel harried.

Then I had an overwhelming feeling of I can do this. Not that I felt hopeless. Not that I had really considered other options. I just knew I had spiritual support and angels. I knew that I could be cheerful and patient and happy and teach my children even on long days. I was surprised at the change of emotions and the onrush of comfort.

Once I lay Levi down, I received the text from Wes: "Classes cancelled today. Gunman was in the library. I'm working on INL stuff. I'm okay. Don't worry." Most days I am prone to panic--it doesn't have to be big. As I thought about the horrific possibilities and the terrible situation on UT's campus, I realized that I felt the overwhelming peace at the same time Wesley sent his text. Not only was I bouyed up about motherhood and my individual purpose, but I was prepared to hear and respond wisely to the news.

All day I prayed for the family and friends of the student with the assault rifle. I can't (and don't want to) imagine getting to that point of dispair and hopelessness. I prayed for the people on campus. I prayed that others could feel the tender mercies of the Lord that I so often overlook.

I reflected on how blessed I am and how quickly our lives pass. Day by day and sometimes it is just gone. There might be a morning when Wesley leaves and we don't see each other again. There will someday be a last morning, a last kiss, a last farewell in mortality--but the Plan of Salvation is real and we will be together eternally with our family. What a miraculous gift. How merciful is our God.

Grateful

Usually Levi hates being naked if not in the tub, but we left his shoes on while we cleaned up a big accident yesterday. He loves his shoes. This reminds me of the song, "The Streak": "Nothin' on but his Keds..."

Learning to use utensils is fun. The kitchen was in the same condition.

Outside!

Words of Inspiration

Every day that Wesley rides the bus to campus he memorizes something--usually a scripture, but also things like all the verses to "The Star-Spangled Banner," poems, and the new Duty to God requirements. I've decided I need to actively learn every day and I miss memorizing, so I've been memorizing a few small things also. Over the last three days I memorized the Relief Society theme--oh, it's great.

"We are beloved spirit daughters of God and our lives have meaning, purpose, and direction. As a worldwide sisterhood we are united in our devotion to Jesus Christ, our Savior and Exemplar. We are women of faith, virtue, vision, and charity who:

Increase our testimonies of Jesus Christ through prayer and scripture study.

Seek spiritual strength by following the promptings of the Holy Ghost.

Devote ourselves to strengthening marriages, families, and homes.
Find nobility in motherhood and joy in womanhood.

Delight in service and good works.

Love live and learning.

Stand for truth and righteousness.

Sustain the priesthood as the authority of God on earth.

Rejoice in the blessings of the temple, understand our divine destiny, and strive for exaltation."

I have a long way to go before achieving all of this--particularly "understanding [my] divine destiny" on a daily basis. I usually delight in service and good works, but there are times when I get distracted by activities rather than focusing on people...Basically, there are days when I can hit on a few of these and days when I really need to find my start button. I want to live worthy of such goals and become a woman of "faith, virtue, vision, and charity" who knows my heritage to Heavenly Parents and honors them in my daily life.

So Excited for Saturday!

Saturday is the general Relief Society conference. I love Relief Society! To make sure I am prepared for and worthy of inspiration, I've decided to do something each day to bring extra focus.

Yesterday, I listened to this great interview between Sheri Dew and Julie B. Beck and her daughters. It's about an hour--and awesome! Wes and I talked about it all through dinner.

At one point, Sister Beck stated that she wanted her children to become people she would want to be friends with; that meant that she needed to parent them while they were young. They needed to learn virtue, manners, and a desire for education. This has me thinking: what skills/standards do I need to teach my sweet boys so that we can all be friends in the future?

A love of the Lord. A  love of learning, service, and charity. A desire to communicate clearly and effectively. Honesty and selflessness. So how to go about this?

Catching up with a few pictures

My new rocking chair. It looks a lot different now that we cleaned and oiled it--but it works great. Levi might be getting too big to share it with me! (Or maybe I'm just getting too big...)

Yes, this is Levi trying to climb into his pack-and-play. He'll be doing chin-ups in no time.

I love this face.

Throwing the bear!

Loving the bear.

Working hard with Dad.

Little red shoes. He wore them all day on Saturday just because he loves them and wouldn't let us take them off. Despite smelly, sweaty feeties.

Levi's cupboard in the kitchen. He plays, I cook.

A common position with books.

Bathtime! (He doesn't sit in the water, he runs in it).

Sharing dinosaurs. So charitable.

Love this sweet bum. Little did we know that we'd find a scorpion next to the toilet when we pull Levi from the tub! At least we found it and not him.

Isn't he great?

Boy oh Boy!

Ultrasound yesterday. Our little monkey was quite modestly curled up on my left side and not interested in even showing off his stomach, but by the end he somersaulted and pulled up his knees to prove he is definitely not Venice Christine! She'll come later.

We're tickled to have another boy. He and Levi will be buddies. They can share clothes and toys and a room (even in puberty! Though we may have to separate them for their safety and my sanity...). They can prepare for their missions together. They can build with Legos and play catch. They can terrorize their mother and sing "I'm So Glad When Daddy Comes Home" while putting bunny ears behind each other's heads. This can and will happen eventually with a sister--we're excited for the male bonding, though.

Unlike Venice we don't know who this little man is! He's surprising us as Levi did. So we're calling him Urias until he's born sometime in January. (Urias is my great-grandpa; Wesley says no to the name as a permanent thing, so it's a good embryo name). Urias is due January 20--Grandpa Merlyn's birthday; as long as he doesn't arrive before that during Wesley's Ph.D. exams, we're good.

Urias has a beautiful beating heart, tiny kidneys, and a good healthy brain. We watched him swim around for 45 minutes. How do we create such miracles? God guides this sacred process.