Blessed Sunshine

Origins

"I argued for a purity that exists in language as representation..." --Spring Ulmer, The Age of Virtual Reproduction

What is the purity of representation? Why does literature (or any art) move us? Is it because we're not ready for unfiltered reality/Truth? Is it because we understand through representation? We grasp our purpose and ourselves through what we represent and what represents us?

Perhaps this is why I'm so narrowly focused on generational connections and family?

I liked pieces of Spring Ulmer's collection; I really like some--and the rest I shrugged over. Writing in fragments can work, but not when you use them as an excuse to ignore transitions, strong connections, and flow. Part of the reasons she wrote the book (I think) was to convey a series of important messages. She conveyed, but didn't actually communicate. Disappointing. I had hoped for more.

When we drove to Kuna a few weeks ago, we listened to Cheaper By the Dozen. I forgot how delightful it is. Wesley recommended it to me when I was 17 and I eagerly read it so I could have something to talk to him about without tripping over my pauses and commas. He loves a good story (as do I), but he's convinced that he will never "get" poetry or poetic language (he claims this is because of his logical mind). But I don't know how we can escape poetics--thinking in it is just as logical for me. Representation as multi-layered, all genre?

According to the Bible, we are made in the image of God; are we then creatures of representation--just seeking an original? I don't know if I'm prepared to fathom that origin. But it's something I always think about: even when I'm not aware of thinking.

My thesis title, related to this, is "Evidences of Inheritance (Essays on Closeness)." I think it works, the middle sounds of "evidences" and "inheritance" are a bit too similar, but it captures what I'm trying to do. Represent, that is.

How do you feel about prunes?

My oh my...

Tomorrow I give my first (heavily revised but collected) draft of my thesis to my chair. Can you believe that? I have a table of contents and everything! I've been working on it so much I've almost forgotten to breathe. Thankfully, Levi pulls me out.

I'm hoping to defend the first week of January. I don't know if that is possible, but I'd like it to be. I went to my friend's defense this week and left inspired. I'm excited for the conversation about books and my work. Perhaps my thesis is not quite publishable as a book (yet) but I like to believe it's getting there.

Otherwise--Levi and I finished Huck Finn this week. Despite my English focus in life, I've never read it before. Highly enjoyable. Such an interesting and engaging voice especially when considered as a "cultural commentary" (a phrase a guy in workshop uses often enough to make me think about it). Of course I wondered about his mom, and Tom's mom, and what you do when you have completely different ideas of what "right" is. How do you figure out which to follow? How do you support each other and still uphold your beliefs? How, perhaps this is the important question, do you determine which beliefs are most important to uphold?

(Also this week: a friend from a few years ago in the Colony married a girl that I failed in class. Yes, it's true. The girl never actually attended my class and despite my multiple (kind) e-mails telling her to come or withdraw, I never saw her in person. When we received the announcement I knew she was familiar; we didn't attend the reception in case she put my name with the glaring E on her transcript. (Not something I'd like to be reminded of on my wedding day...). Congratulations to them, though. This thought gives me some comfort at not teaching next semester--at least I won't have to fail anyone! But I will miss my students, especially those from this semester, terribly.)

Another question on truth: I'm writing a series of shorts that evoke the family stories I've heard my entire life. They are not necessarily factual, but I think they connect with the mythical resonance I feel about them. They're imagined but not fiction. Is this ethical?

Happy Five Months!

Five months ago, this little guy was less than half his current body weight. And now he responds to his name, sits up, rolls over, and eats from a spoon!

If he wasn't blowing bubbles at me I might not believe it.

My Sister Rocks

My sister has been coming down to "visit" me during the last few weeks; actually she and her baby play with Levi while I work on my thesis. Levi and his cousin are only 5 weeks apart--lucky them!

A Difficult Decision

We're having our family picture taken tomorrow and I can't decide if Levi should just wear jeans or if he should do overalls. Help?