Hospital Bag

I hate clutter. Yet. An extra outfit sits on top of our dresser. A list of allergies (primarily penicillin) lies on that. I haven't been ambitious enough to prepare an extra toothbrush, wash some of little Charles Lamb's newborn clothes, or find "games" as suggested in one of my hospital books to pass time during labor (which seems ludicrous to me. Will I really want to be doing anything but breathe on the labor and delivery floor? Granted, once my mom had her epidural she stopped counting ceiling tiles and she and my dad played rummy. Just another outing--eh?). Really, I'm silly. As long as Wesley is next to me, I'll be fine. Gregorian chants and Isaiah are relaxing, but not necessary.

Even though I have a shadowy idea that CharCole could may come early, I avoid packing the hospital bag. I'd like to avoid the hospital as long as possible, but not long enough that my boy is unsafe. He's complaining about the space restrictions these days.

Strange that my baby could be here any time. He's due in two and a half weeks--but that's an approximate. Thankfully, his progress has mirrored his dad's behavior: steady, constant, fairly predictable, with a lot of warning for anything "strange." I'm not anxious (which is weird). I'm happy to keep him swaddled in me for a while longer, or I'm happy to welcome him out of the water. Just not in the next 60 hours or so. After the 19th, he can arrive whenever.

Arrive. Sounds a bit benign. Deliver. Sounds like the excavation of a liver, but I like the implications of mail (male--our Charles! Yes, I'm increasingly sappy...), storks--which are thought to bring good luck--and the specialty of a baby. Deliver to deliverance is a form of salvation. Most doctors will induce their pampered pregnant princess patients about week after the due date because the placenta thins and the baby can be harmed--so even though the womb provides ten months of life, the little one needs to be released from the confines eventually. However it happens, the baby must and will leave the mother's body. (Yes, I still fear that Charles will die soon after birth. People are born every day! People--old and young--die every day, too. Darwin: can you give survival to your children?) No one says, "When I birthed my baby." They give birth--but I think God gives the present of birth to the parents. My siblings adore their sons; birth was given to them.

Birth is not passive.