Happy Mother’s Day! We are grateful for our mothers, their faith, and the continuing nurturing we receive from them. It seems like they are always full of miracles and the right thing to say. This week when I was starting to feel a little frazzled Christine sent me an e-mail that just jolted everything back into perspective for me. Somehow in these weeks of transition, I’ve forgotten what boys need, how we have usually filled those needs, and how we’re still finding the best energy outlets for those gaps. She reminded me of exactly what I needed. My mom is also always ready to help and serve us and everyone else. I think one of the reasons I’m addicted to making cookies is because it helps me channel my mom, remembering her delicious treats and how she listened to me jabber endlessly (and still does!) as I worked out my thoughts and feelings. I’m really hoping I can teach our kids to communicate to us the way she and my dad did. What a gift. And we have such wonderful grandmothers and great-grandmothers. We’re so blessed by them.

The boys and Wes plotted my Mother’s Day with care. They gave me orange tulips (which Lincoln stomped on but amazingly survived). This morning Levi woke with purpose and colored some paper to wrap gifts for me: blue because it’s my favorite color with 3s all over it because that’s my favorite number. Wesley helped them wrap a new whisk and a huge Ghiradehli chocolate bar—in addition to Blue Bell Rocky Road ice cream. I’m spoiled, it’s true. Levi also made me a flower in Primary “because I wanted your day to be special.” Lincoln and Keller gave me big hugs. And Wes and I had a date in nursery and sent the usual leader to Sunday School and RS. I love dates with him!

We’ve been thinking a lot about mothering this week. This is in part because I’ve been struggling (not a big surprise given my letters!) to keep it together. We have been blessed by a series of miracles. One came as a dream. I’ve had drowning dreams for years and years and years. I always drown. I die and wake up. This week I had a few symbolic dreams that weren’t of my normal kind. One was surprisingly a drowning dream. Point: I woke feeling much more hopeful. It took me until the next evening to realize that I didn’t drown! I’d stayed under water watching sting rays and angel fish and light swirl all around me, feeling out of breath and baffled—but I didn’t drown no matter how far I was pushed under. I could still see and feel the light. Sometimes that is how parenting is. Swirling, dizzying, but so full of God’s light that we do not drown. There was more to it, but I’m still figuring it out.

On Thursday Wesley and I were asked to give talks. We didn’t have much time to work on them, although we did have some wonderful conversations about honoring mothers, how the plan of salvation is a plan of family, and what it means to nurture. This morning both of us only had a few scattered notes. Levi woke last night with nightmares. Another miracle, he calmed and slept in. Lincoln and Keller slept in. We had time to make our notes a little less scattered. I’ll attach mine on nurturing. I focused on 2 Nephi 25:26 but have no idea what I actually said; the Spirit was there—so our prayers were answered. Wesley talked about how we can honor mothers giving examples of the mothers of Helaman’s army and how these were young men who were mothered by a community of faithful people. He pointed out that President Packer teaches that God shows us His love by giving Priesthood power and authority. Heavenly Father has also given us all motherhood—no matter where we are. This is a power and authority that all living have access to. I would give more details, but I didn’t actually hear the talk. Lincoln had to use the bathroom right after the sacrament. Levi came along. In the midst of their adventure I heard Keller screaming in the hall with a very sweet and helpful sister. Lincoln’s potty experience took almost the full duration of Wesley’s talk (20 minutes!). This did make for a more reverent meeting for others, though!

As I write this, I watch Wes teach Levi and Lincoln how to make a snowman. Yes. Snow. Golden is supposed to have over a foot of it by tomorrow morning. The snowman is as tall as Lincoln and the green leaves still flutter beneath the white. The yellow and purple irises that bloomed this week still wink and sway in the flurry. For the first time since we came here, the big boys said, “I like Colorado! Let’s stay here!” (They’ve been repacking their stuff to return to Austin and “Shane and Julie’s house!”). Another blessing! Plus we(s) had just enough time yesterday to cut the dead branches off of trees, finish the major weeding, clear out a garden plot, and mow the grass. We’re ready for the snow! Keller loves it as well. He tried to kiss it and catch it.

A few adventures happened this week. Surprise!

While working in the yard, the boys once again flooded the stairs and un-filled flowerbed. I can’t keep up with the three of them. Before I could stop them, they made mudballs and flung them at the house and at me. Boys! The water is super cold here. The big boys put the hose down Keller’s back. Poor kid. Their sweet mother showed them exactly how that felt, then we had a long warm bath. Keller floated! They blow bubbles and pretend to swim. We registered for swimming lessons (starting first week of June); they can’t wait. We bought a medium outdoor pool for them to play in (after the snow melts). It has sharks. They have goggles—which still live on their faces most of the time—and life is just so, so good.

We met some new friends at a new park next to a lake. Geese everywhere. Keller didn’t care a bit about the awesome climbing playground: he only saw the geese. He chased them, attacked them, squawked at them—even after one charged him, hissing. They appreciated him more when we tossed them his sandwich. As we drove to the park, Levi brought his Book of Mormon to “read” to us. Every time we turned he read 2 Nephi 2:25. Then again, and again, and again. Lincoln started to softly remind him, “We turned again, Levi, you can stop now. Levi you can stop now. Levi: stop reading!”

After emptying their dresser again, the big boys surprised me by putting them all away!

We invested in a clothes line. Drying clothes has never been so exciting. We’re still learning how to keep the line tight.

Lincoln knocked over the 3-shelf bookcase in the toy room while it was still filled with children’s book. Why is everything a fire truck or garbage truck? He did help put it away.

They built forts out of smashed boxes. They whispered all morning because their “kids” (Peter, Bluey, and the Elephant) were sleeping. Levi told me, “They had a rough night, so they’re really tired.”

At the library we entertained quite a few people when we tried to leave with 40 books Lincoln discovering a huge book basket to dump (after we’d just cleaned up the trains…) and Keller finding the children’s computer and Levi color coordinating the blocks on the shelf.. I was sweating by the time we left—but we came out successful!

Keller loves wandering around with a blanket over his head. This accounts for quite a few bumps and bruises. We have no idea what he’s thinking. He also loves clamboring up the table then dancing on it before we say, “Keller, get down…” He grins and giggles, moving with alarming speeds for such a little man. He also teases. He often poops then points to Lincoln and tells us Lincoln needs a “diaper” change. They both think this is hilarious.

On that note, Lincoln decided to pee all over the new bark in a park by our house. Good grief. He’s not very good at standing to urinate, so he waddle-ran all the way home.

Our sound for the week is “L.” Levi has made great improvements and has pointed out our sound since his speech session. This is an important sound with a Levi, Lincoln, and Keller. I hear him practicing “Look! Look!” instead of “yook.” He told me, “I want to go to half-day kindergarten because you really need me here.” It’s true!

We stayed up late watching “Frozen.” We’ve heard enough about it and the music that we finally saw it. The boys enjoyed the experience, but were very confused. If you want our commentary (and we have some!) call—this letter is getting long enough! I wonder if the focus on social ineptness is a reflection of how many people feel because we communicate less face-to-face now than ever.

In Venice news, I’ve officially decided to deliver her without an epidural. My last doctor visit was a huge relief. This doctor assured me that they’ll support whatever I decide to do. She was very thorough. I connected with her. I think I need to calm down because it will all be okay. Wes and I are working on pain management skills. I’ve been praying to be prepared. In one answer, I went to bed with a migraine. Instead of improving, I woke at three in so much pain that I couldn’t sleep anymore. I spent the night and morning in the bathroom vomiting. I tried to distract myself by biking, but stopped because my first contractions of this pregnancy began. We’re right on track as I’m a little over 28 weeks. Here we go! I can’t believe we’re getting close to meeting our little girl in a couple of months.

Wes finished his third week at NREL. He continues to love it. Already he’s ahead of schedule. He meets new and talented people. We’re just immensely blessed.

That’s the long update. We love you!