Dear Family,

Rosey sent me a book called Loving the Little Years: Motherhood in the Trenches. The author writes that there are some words we use to excuse ourselves; I use the word “tired.” But, hello! Who isn’t tired? People still maintain emotional control and do a lot of good. So pull it together, girl! Other realization of the week: I tend to verbalize (everything) my personal inadequacies and insecurity, particularly about motherhood. People can interpret this as criticizing our kids. I must stop. Back to the Lord’s definition of success and working on Wesley’s birthday present to stop criticizing myself. Glad to know I’m not working on this alone because I couldn’t do it.

In the midst of this, I received an e-mail from a well-meaning stranger chastising me about reserving temple names. Poor Wes and my crying. He always seems to find me praying in tears. (I do want to blame my over emotional self on sleep deprivation, but that’s still using a crutch, I’m afraid). It’s a long story and it turned out well thanks to the 24-hour rule I learned in graduate school (never respond to an unkind or hasty e-mail immediately; wait at least 24 hours to think it through and pray for compassion). During our exchange I wondered how I would feel praying with her in the temple. I realized that I would be very happy to do so and that I was actually grateful for her willingness to seek correction (see Captain Moroni and Pahoran—except I lack Pahoran’s level-headed, non-emotional grace). This made me review my life and my relationships. Is there anyone that I wouldn’t be comfortable praying for or with? What a sweet relief to see how the power of the atonement has changed me so many times and helped me develop a greater love for others.

We attended the temple on Saturday. I love it there. We both did sealings, separately, and spent time in the Celestial Room. I was the only one there. The cloudy light filtered through the blue and green stained glass. The shadows even had a twinkle about them. I looked around and prayed and thought, “This is wonderful, and peaceful, and I love it here (and it’s really nice to just sit for a minute!), but I need my family here for it to be truly Celestial!” Heavenly Father teaches us this so well since He wants us all to return to Him. When we drove away Levi called out, “Goodbye, Moroni! We come back soon! We come back soon!” (Levi also told me he’s going inside the temple to get married. He wants to marry Peter because he kisses him; married people kiss. I explained a few things. 1. Peter is a dog—boys don’t marry dogs. 2. Peter is a boy—Levi will marry a girl.)

Wesley gave a presentation at TWCCC (Texas Wisconsin California Control Consortia) on Tuesday. He showed some of his work, “Analysis of Thermal Storage System in a Smart Grid Environment,” (now doesn’t that sound exciting!) and how he’s connecting a bunch of energy things like thermal energy storage with turbine inlet cooling and solar among other stuff. He did well. This conference is mostly for the students to give industrial people a glance into their research so they can connect. A guy from Praxair (in Buffalo, NY) asked if Wesley might be interested in interning. He sent a resume. We’ll see what happens, if anything—there or in Golden.

Later in the week, Wesley gave an abbreviated version of his presentation to a man who taught them how to give top quality presentations. He came home pretty buzzed and enlightened. Now Wesley has a lot of specific things to work on to become a better presenter. Anyone who has had to sit through boring PowerPoint presentations would benefit from and appreciate this workshop, according to my husband.

Nina and boys

Nina is moving next Saturday. She gave us her twin trundle beds (much to the boys’ delight—not to mention ours!). She has come over to our house every week for over a year. We visited her the night before Lincoln was born. We’ve watched her independent humility and gratitude as she progresses on with Parkinson’s, difficult family situations, and the wears and tears of age (she’s in her mid-eighties). Levi is still convinced that even though she’s moving far away, she’ll come to our house and that when we move, we’ll be right next to her. He’ll be heartbroken. I discovered this week when we went over there to find everything boxed up and stacked in her garage and car that we’ll all be heartbroken. Even Lincoln dashes up to her and hugs her legs. Good thing she has a cane.

Busy busy boys, scuffs and bruises among the toys, dance and sing and do their thing, until a happy insanity they bring. Levi loves singing. He sings the hymns with us and repeats the notes as well as the words. He sings the musical scale forwards and backwards and notices when I mess up (often). He and Lincoln adore the “Latter-day Prophet” song—my favorite is when he says, “John TAY!” and “David HOME McKay!” On Saturday he awoke at 5:30 singing. Loud. Lincoln soon joined him. They sang for a half an hour until Levi needed the potty. Then he went back and they sang for another half hour. Cute. And 5:30 is so much better than 2:15. Granted, the 2:15 morning he really tried to be quiet and go back to sleep until 4:45—which is really impressive for a two-year-old.  

Lincoln teases. He ran to Wes every time he came in the door, arms outreached and eager, saying, “Dad! Dad! Dad!” Then just as he reaches Wesley, he swerves and giggles. He eats all of his food, then finishes Levi’s. He had a doctor check-up from his ear infection/RSV, waving to everyone and practically turning his head for them to look into his ears. I don’t think I needed to hold him. He loves puzzles now; figuring out how to put the pieces in the holes is such a challenge! I often walk in on him reading books, flipping pages, finding animals, kissing the animals. During Sacrament meeting today, he kissed pictures of Jesus. Later he “patted” Levi’s head and we redirected him to kiss. So funny. (It reminded me of seeing one of my primary boys walk out of Sharing Time with his brother, their arms around each others’ shoulders, comparing pictures, etc. They’re 14 months apart and don’t even look related. Much like our boys.) Wesley calls Lincoln The Wandering Man because all day he laps the house, climbs the chairs, moves the stool, climbs it to reach door knobs and lights, moves toys, throws balls, and wander wander wanders. He resists the off button for as long as he can. Wesley missed Sunday School to wander the halls due to our restless boy.

We love you. Come stay in our new beds and see our tulips blooming away.

Cole 4