The Itsy Bitsy Spider

This lovely creation perches right on top of our back window. When we moved in she was the size of my hand, perhaps larger. One of her sweet legs was about the size of my middle finger. We can see her from both sides--which is a rare treat with spiders, particularly ones this large. She's golden on the bottom, but as you can see here more yellow, blue, and brown on top.

I've watched her with chilled interest. Mostly for Levi's sake. Still every time he moans in his sleep I have to remind myself that the sound would be much different had she snuggled up next to him, or had he stuck a scorpian in his mouth, (or had our six foot "garden snake" slithered through his window...things really are bigger in Texas). Regardless, she has a definite grace and beauty about her. We decided not to spray her and let her catch some of our critters herself.

Then she started to shrink. I despaired over this, actually. Her grand presence slowly diminishing in her three and a half foot web. She cocooned a batch of her darlings and now withers. She won't see them grow up (and neither will we, for although we appreciated her one existence, her millions of posterity can scatter elsewhere...). She's made me think about motherhood and what it means to be a parent. Reproduction is a way to begin the ritual of dying. It is casting a hope for the future, but it's also acknowledging that we can't last, and they can't last, and at last the last can't last. She sacrificed herself completely and now we glance in awe at her hollow image.

I don't mean to say that motherhood is depressing or draining; it's beautiful, but parenting requires that we give of ourselves thread by thread for the love and sake of those we create.

Amazing boundless creation.