While missing work and waiting for the floor man to come to my house and redo my kitchen floor as arranged by our house management people (scheduled for 9 a.m.: didn't show up until 3:30, then didn't have all the materials--so he's coming again tomorrow. Do I mind that my house is in shambles while I'm having contractions and tomorrow is my due date? Trying to be calm and less anal) I read Carl Hiaasen's Newberry Honor Book, Hoot. Quite delightful, actually. And not just because I needed a distraction. It's hilarious and clever.
The main character, Roy, deals with a few situations that he feels he can't be fully honest with his parents about--for the sake of keeping his integrity with friends, himself, etc. The text notes his discomfort and desire to remain completely upfront with "his two real best friends." I appreciate Roy's good motivations, but he did lie a few times to his parents. Is that okay? I'm inclined to say no, particularly when his parents had been nothing but trustworthy and reliable to him (the book actually makes a good case for the importance of parenting and maintaining close relationships with your children. Another ten points from this reviewer). How do you help a kid in that circumstance? How do you discuss honesty when it has never been an issue before? How do you recognize dishonesty? How do you address the problem without making the child feel attacked or vulnerable?
I was one of those kids who was devastated at the idea of disappointing my parents. There were a few times when I didn't thoroughly explain a situation from the beginning, but (like Roy) those were quickly cleared up. I wonder if this is abnormal, though, and I wonder about little Charles and his siblings. (Another looming question of "what to do when I'm a real parent?" Oh crap...). My current conclusion: be totally honest with my children and uphold open communication and the expectation that they will be honest with me. Is that enough? Any ideas?
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